What an amazing experience.
Last night I had stage time at the legendary Comedy Store, London. This place is ingrained in comedic folklore and has given birth to some of the most prominent comedians over the last 30 odd years. And then there was me, who went and did a sobering 1 minute and 6 seconds on that famous turf.
The King Gong challenge is the stuff of legends and it isn't until you watch the night progress you realise what the hell you have signed up for. Overall there were 35 hopefully comedians, all after the elusive open spot with the club later in the year. The audience were having none of that and were out for blood almost from the off.
Split into two sections (of which I was in the second along with my South West comedy companion Tom Glover), three audience members, in rotation, are given the power of the red "remove that twatting comedian" card, some of which used them as often as breathing whilst others use them with as little occurrence as a laugh on My Family. However, they were mostly swayed by the audiences baying, regardless of their opinions.
To start the first comedian had run away after putting his name down, obviously knowing what the night was to hold. However, the first half seemed to start well for the comedians with most getting beyond a couple of minutes. The bad ones were still falling around the 30 second mark but the audience had yet to realise their power. This they picked up on about mid-way through and started brandishing cards like Moonpig. From this point nobody became safe, the disabled, the foreign, the funny, the unfunny, all were being picked off by the sniper card holders and audience.
From the first half 3 got through. One guy was shot down around the 30 second mark and was kindly rewarded with a rendition of the The Last Stand and the MC goading everybody to their feet in one final humiliating salute.
By the time the second half started the already rabid audience had now been fueled with alcohol and like Rambo after a cold hose police shower, were on a mission to destroy.
Comedians were now being heckled just for getting on the stage and for "not looking right". They were not even getting to their first lines before the crowd noise annihilated their act. One guy was even given a second chance, due to an administrative card counting error, but after returning to the stage decided after ten seconds that to be honest he couldn't be bothered to try and out shout the heckles.
At sixth on the running order it was my go. To be honest I do not remember that much about it (all 1 minute and 6 seconds has been videoed for posterity so I can recall it then). The lights were bright, the heckles were loud but I couldn't tell if they were directed at me, the MC, the card holders or each other. The early gags seemed to get laughs but I couldn't tell if the cards were up. I remember trying to rush through my material on the premise that if I got to the punchlines they might let me stay. No chance! You have had your one minute and six seconds son, now fuck off! I had done better than others, worse than I expected and about right for that crowd. I vaguely recall somebody apologising as I walked off to "Another One Bites The Dust". What they were apologising for I do not know, my act, my time, the mob? Who knows?
And that was it.
As an experience it was second to none. I am so glad I took part in something like that and at a club with such standing. Would I do it again? Of course, but I now have to wait six months. What have I learned? Next time arrive a bit earlier to get on in the first part, that might help because when the crowd get hyped up and are treating you like a convicted peodophile leaving court in the police bus you do not have a hope in hell.
5 months, 30 days and counting...
Last night I had stage time at the legendary Comedy Store, London. This place is ingrained in comedic folklore and has given birth to some of the most prominent comedians over the last 30 odd years. And then there was me, who went and did a sobering 1 minute and 6 seconds on that famous turf.
The King Gong challenge is the stuff of legends and it isn't until you watch the night progress you realise what the hell you have signed up for. Overall there were 35 hopefully comedians, all after the elusive open spot with the club later in the year. The audience were having none of that and were out for blood almost from the off.
Split into two sections (of which I was in the second along with my South West comedy companion Tom Glover), three audience members, in rotation, are given the power of the red "remove that twatting comedian" card, some of which used them as often as breathing whilst others use them with as little occurrence as a laugh on My Family. However, they were mostly swayed by the audiences baying, regardless of their opinions.
To start the first comedian had run away after putting his name down, obviously knowing what the night was to hold. However, the first half seemed to start well for the comedians with most getting beyond a couple of minutes. The bad ones were still falling around the 30 second mark but the audience had yet to realise their power. This they picked up on about mid-way through and started brandishing cards like Moonpig. From this point nobody became safe, the disabled, the foreign, the funny, the unfunny, all were being picked off by the sniper card holders and audience.
From the first half 3 got through. One guy was shot down around the 30 second mark and was kindly rewarded with a rendition of the The Last Stand and the MC goading everybody to their feet in one final humiliating salute.
By the time the second half started the already rabid audience had now been fueled with alcohol and like Rambo after a cold hose police shower, were on a mission to destroy.
Comedians were now being heckled just for getting on the stage and for "not looking right". They were not even getting to their first lines before the crowd noise annihilated their act. One guy was even given a second chance, due to an administrative card counting error, but after returning to the stage decided after ten seconds that to be honest he couldn't be bothered to try and out shout the heckles.
At sixth on the running order it was my go. To be honest I do not remember that much about it (all 1 minute and 6 seconds has been videoed for posterity so I can recall it then). The lights were bright, the heckles were loud but I couldn't tell if they were directed at me, the MC, the card holders or each other. The early gags seemed to get laughs but I couldn't tell if the cards were up. I remember trying to rush through my material on the premise that if I got to the punchlines they might let me stay. No chance! You have had your one minute and six seconds son, now fuck off! I had done better than others, worse than I expected and about right for that crowd. I vaguely recall somebody apologising as I walked off to "Another One Bites The Dust". What they were apologising for I do not know, my act, my time, the mob? Who knows?
And that was it.
As an experience it was second to none. I am so glad I took part in something like that and at a club with such standing. Would I do it again? Of course, but I now have to wait six months. What have I learned? Next time arrive a bit earlier to get on in the first part, that might help because when the crowd get hyped up and are treating you like a convicted peodophile leaving court in the police bus you do not have a hope in hell.
5 months, 30 days and counting...